no words.

two posts in one night. shocking. but this is something that is important and very personal to me. I just watched the local nightly news and learned that one of the seton hall arsonists was released on parole today. I cannot even begin to describe how much this upsets me. i was not a student at shu nine years ago when the fire happened, but that does not mean i do not have strong feelings and emotions about that tragedy. i have spoken to several individuals who were students at that time, and just hearing their accounts of that night and the days that followed is horrific. in january I actually read After The Fire, and although it is an account of the recovery of two of the most severely burned victims from the fire, it gives a true vision of what happened both that night, the next few days, the recovery of these two brave men, and investigation and cover-up of the arson. i have never cried so hard in my life as reading that book. The details are extremely upsetting and also quite vivid, but I will not say that it was the details that effected me so much. It was the fact that it was MY school. Regardless of it having happened five years before I even stepped foot on campus as a freshman, it is still my school. I have been in that dorm. I have walked across the "Remember" monument. (Rather, i have walked around it, because you don't dare step ON it.) And i have listened to the chimes of the clocktower every 15 minutes for 4 years, honoring those lost in the fire. Reading about the fire, or hearing first hand accounts, i am picturing the seton hall that i know and love. It hits close to home. It IS home.

I think this feeling is even more heightened because the of the sense of community that sets SHU apart. We are a small university. Essentially everyone is a familiar face. Professors know and remember you. Father John stands on the green every morning and greets everyone. You don't just go to seton hall. you are seton hall. you are a pirate. you bleed blue. And it's not a school spirit / pride / athletics thing. it's the heart of the school, the community. When something happens on campus, tragedy or triumph, we all mourn. we all celebrate.

I can't imagine what it would have been like to be there that night. I get chills just thinking about it. There was a night my senior year of college where someone made their way onto campus with a gun. There was never any real threat, but long story short, word traveled fast, as those things do, and the campus was on lock down for a few hours. I was on campus for a sorority event and i remember running to my friends' apartment trying to figure out what was actually going on. Within 3 minutes my 3 sisters and i had called every single member of our sorority, making sure everyone was alright and accounted for. That night we weren't even really scared. We were alarmed and needed the reassurance that everyone was fine, but we knew enough about the situation that there was no danger. I can't even begin to imagine the amount of panic and chaos that occurred as the fire raged on that evening.

News broke a few months ago that Sean Ryan had been granted parole. It was upsetting and even maddening then, but knowing that today he stepped out a free man, there aren't even any words to describe how i feel. I am generally a retributivist. I believe that the punishment should fit the crime. I am also pretty forgiving. I know and understand that the arsonists did not intend to set a fire that would kill 3 students and injure over 50 others. I do believe that it was an accident. A very stupid and careless accident. (they set a paper banner that was hanging on a wall on fire, which spread to a couch and throughout the dorm.) I could even accept that this level of recklessness and believe that they have served their debt to society. But the situation didn't end there. These guys didn't attempt to get help when the fire spread. They didn't come clean to authorities about the fact that it was a stupid accident that unfortunately got out of hand. They covered it up. They met in dunkin donuts days later to agree to lie to the police investigators and claim that they knew nothing about what happened that night. they were outright uncooperative with police. wire taps of one of their houses revealed that his family had discussed sending him out of the country to protect him. When they finally cut a deal with prosecutors (the day before trial was set to start), their statements showed no remorse for their actions, but a generic and simple apology to the families. To me, their actions immediately following the fire, as well as failure to take accountability in the months of investigation and prosecution, show an utter disregard for human life and for their actions and the grave, grave effects that they had. In my opinion, justice would have only been served had Sean Ryan been required to serve his full sentence, not an early release and parole. The other arsonist is set for a parole hearing later this year. It is likely his request will also be granted.